So what if I'm high maintenance?
My parents are obsessively vaccuming and checking the chemicals in the pool for their little "pool party" this afternoon. You know that anything which spawns more drama than I ever saw in high school is probably some event that I don't care to attend. But that's not the real dealbreaker, here.
*11:30AM, 83 degrees in the house*
"Hay mom, I just thought of something"
(My parents love for the temp in the house to reach at least 93 before subjecting themselves to AC)
"Yeah, hold on a minute" --scrub scrub--
--scrub--
"Ok, what?"
"I was thinking that if you turned on the AC now when it's cooler in the house instead of later you will actually be saving energy, because it won't have to work like a racehorse to cool the house down for a few hours, it will just keep at a mild temp all day long."
"Yeah, maybe if I was planning on ever turning on the AC today. I want everyone out of the house and into the pool."
"Well, I guess I have to leave early then."
The last thing I want to do is wade around in my pool among 20 shitfaced middle aged people that I don't know who are probably having a hard time controlling their bowels due to their inebriation and rapid aging, just because my mom chooses not to run the AC today.
No.
So I'll probably make the long journey back to Stockton in an hour or so. Gotta get the free AC where you can, even if it's in my delapidated ol' townhouse. Take my grilled chicken pieces to cook in pasta later tonight for when I get hungry. Maybe as a treat, I will go to Costco, it's bound to be air conditioned in that place.
Even more depressing is that I finished my book that I started on Thursday, so I have no peaceful retreat into the mind of the severely bipolar anymore. Well, unless I decide to look into myself. That's always a good time had by all.
Now I'm here just trying to figure out why my 7up has the essence of bell pepper in it.
I can't help but think of last night's festivities. We sort of had dinner as a family. My mom and my dad had chicken caesar salad. My sister had a tomato and salt, and I had some buffalo wings. Afterward, we all sit around the table and decide to play a game of Hearts. If anyone knows my dad, they know that by 3pm, faithfully each day, he's gone. He's had one too many Coors. There's no reasoning or normal conversation without being mocked, accused, yelled at, or just exchanging of words that you have the slightest idea of what he's talking about.
Each time the hand is dealt, he picks up his cards, and either says "oh, shiiiiiiiiiit." Or "what the fuck, who's dealing?" Or "Oh, oh, I'm gonna run the gamut!" And then he usually shows us his cards, because he thinks it doesn't matter whether we see or not. Then when we usually have five turns left, and he's already been handed the Queen of Spades, he just lays his cards down, says "take them, I don't give a shit"and accuses all three of us of cheating. Eventually I just told him he was annoying, and he got to 100 points, lost the game, but won to him, since he had the highest total, and I sat down on the couch and checked my gmail.
I have to go pack.
P.S. Hi Linda! I see you found my blog.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
come to jesus
Disclaimer: This is what happens when I get 10+ hours of sleep.
Last night I got up on my soap box and started talking to one of my residents about relationships. I believe she said something like "I want a boyfriend." I responded with "no, you don't." Then I went off on some tangent about how everyone thinks that if they're in some sort of relationship, everything will be ideal, and it will complete them. Happiness until death, the end. And that's just not the case.
As I was walking to class today, I verbalized this entry in my head.
If you know me at all, you would know that when it comes to relationships, I definitely have no room to preach to anyone about successful and healthy relationships. I think it's a common disease that most people have: they are able to preach to others about what the right thing to do in their situation would be (i.e. dump him! he's an asshole, you deserve better. don't have sex until after 6 months...) but when it comes down to their own issues, they have problems abiding by their own rules that they set for everyone else. I'm just throwing this out there right now, I'm not claiming, by any means, that I take my own advice. But I should, and you should too.
So, as I was talking to this resident/friend (one who has never had a boyfriend before, waiting for a first kiss etc etc.) I go off on some tangent about how, if you're looking for a boyfriend, you should date someone who you have already established a strong friendship with. SO MANY TIMES, you meet someone, it's an instant attraction, and you are captured by the feelings and the moments that you get caught up, and you essentially start a relationship with someone you don't know. This is idealistic for a number of reasons, number one: during the first weeks of dating, you are getting to know each other. If you find out that person A loves jujubees and person B (AKA YOU) loves jujubees you're like holy fuck! it is meant to be! So basically, what you've established is a strong lustful attraction for each other and a mutual taste for jujubees, great.
Eventually, person A is going to find out/see for themselves your collection of 3,445 Beanie Babies that you have set up pyramid-style on your bed. Then there will be the really rare ones, like the purple one or something, that you don't feel comfortable sleeping with, and those will be set up in there plastic cases on your window sill staring at you as you sleep among the rest of the 3,445. Person A, upon meeting you, probably had no idea that you were a compulsive Beanie Baby hoarder. You are already dating this person. You might be having sex. Or at least giving each other hand jobs, and now that you're outed as a freak, person A has doubts about your relationship.
If person A and person B had been good friends before dating, person A probably would have known about the Beanie Baby fetish, dealt with it, and gone through with the dating anyway. If person A had a problem with the Beanie Baby thing, obviously a relationship would have never blossomed. So, as you can see, by being good friends with your dating partner before the blossoming of a relationship can be a good idea.
Of course, beanies babies can be metaphors for many different things. Cutting. Passive aggressive behavior. An unhealthy obsession with Bono. Preference for blue raspberry slushies. Jagged toenails. The possibilities are endless.
So basically, here is your pickle. You're having sex with someone who hoards Beanie Babies. How to get out of this situation. Person A, starts backing away...person B is offended. They have a Come to Jesus conversation:
"but but....you've seen me naked!"
"it's just not going to work out..we're too different, i haven't fallen in love with you yet."
"i just don't understand how we were naked together yesterday and just because you saw my beanie babies all of a sudden our mutual nudity meant nothing to you!"
"i just can't be that for you anymore. i thought i could but i was wrong."
Person B feels a compulsion to try to change for person A. It baffles person B that things could have been perfect 10 hours before, but now they can't help but feel inadequate and used. There is a need for justification of self. Person B cuts the Beanie Baby stash in half. Maybe stocks a few under the bed now. Person A has moment of weakness, person B feels temporarily validated but a few days later, they still have the same conversation over again.
Person B is just fucked.
So, friends, make sure you KNOW the person you're dating before you agree to a relationship with them. Someone isn't just going to knock on your dorm room door one day and be like tada! we're in love! It just doesn't work that way. Being in a healthy relationship (if one exists) is something that takes a long time and a lot of work. The same goes for falling in love with someone. This is built upon a lot of work, sacrifice and time. You can't rush into it. You're not going to know instantly.
And I'm not going to assume that all relationships are going to be spawned from healthy friendships from here on out just because I wrote a blog entry on Beanie Babies. All of the relationships I've ever had have not come out of stable friendships. They have spawned from random meetings and lustful feelings. And I'm not guaranteeing that it's not going to happen again, or that person B will have learned from his/her mistakes. I'm just throwing it out there.
Relationships are hard work, and they're not always fun. You aren't going to be happy all of the time. I would say 85% of the people I know who are married or in long term relationships are miserable more than they are happy. They fight more than they love. Their relationship still exists because they are afraid to go it alone. I can only imagine what it would feel like to be alone after the companionship of a long-term serious relationship. But that's no reason to extend your stay in Shitville.
There are always going to be defensive women who feel threatened. There is always going to be one person who needs more sex than the other and is offended when they don't get it. There will always be a need to validate one another.
I think that, essentially, all people ever want out of any sort of relationship they have is validation. Some sort of sign that the choices they have made with their life aren't all a joke. Validation is needed in friendships, in jobs, in school, and most importantly, in relationships.
/End soap box rant.
Last night I got up on my soap box and started talking to one of my residents about relationships. I believe she said something like "I want a boyfriend." I responded with "no, you don't." Then I went off on some tangent about how everyone thinks that if they're in some sort of relationship, everything will be ideal, and it will complete them. Happiness until death, the end. And that's just not the case.
As I was walking to class today, I verbalized this entry in my head.
If you know me at all, you would know that when it comes to relationships, I definitely have no room to preach to anyone about successful and healthy relationships. I think it's a common disease that most people have: they are able to preach to others about what the right thing to do in their situation would be (i.e. dump him! he's an asshole, you deserve better. don't have sex until after 6 months...) but when it comes down to their own issues, they have problems abiding by their own rules that they set for everyone else. I'm just throwing this out there right now, I'm not claiming, by any means, that I take my own advice. But I should, and you should too.
So, as I was talking to this resident/friend (one who has never had a boyfriend before, waiting for a first kiss etc etc.) I go off on some tangent about how, if you're looking for a boyfriend, you should date someone who you have already established a strong friendship with. SO MANY TIMES, you meet someone, it's an instant attraction, and you are captured by the feelings and the moments that you get caught up, and you essentially start a relationship with someone you don't know. This is idealistic for a number of reasons, number one: during the first weeks of dating, you are getting to know each other. If you find out that person A loves jujubees and person B (AKA YOU) loves jujubees you're like holy fuck! it is meant to be! So basically, what you've established is a strong lustful attraction for each other and a mutual taste for jujubees, great.
Eventually, person A is going to find out/see for themselves your collection of 3,445 Beanie Babies that you have set up pyramid-style on your bed. Then there will be the really rare ones, like the purple one or something, that you don't feel comfortable sleeping with, and those will be set up in there plastic cases on your window sill staring at you as you sleep among the rest of the 3,445. Person A, upon meeting you, probably had no idea that you were a compulsive Beanie Baby hoarder. You are already dating this person. You might be having sex. Or at least giving each other hand jobs, and now that you're outed as a freak, person A has doubts about your relationship.
If person A and person B had been good friends before dating, person A probably would have known about the Beanie Baby fetish, dealt with it, and gone through with the dating anyway. If person A had a problem with the Beanie Baby thing, obviously a relationship would have never blossomed. So, as you can see, by being good friends with your dating partner before the blossoming of a relationship can be a good idea.
Of course, beanies babies can be metaphors for many different things. Cutting. Passive aggressive behavior. An unhealthy obsession with Bono. Preference for blue raspberry slushies. Jagged toenails. The possibilities are endless.
So basically, here is your pickle. You're having sex with someone who hoards Beanie Babies. How to get out of this situation. Person A, starts backing away...person B is offended. They have a Come to Jesus conversation:
"but but....you've seen me naked!"
"it's just not going to work out..we're too different, i haven't fallen in love with you yet."
"i just don't understand how we were naked together yesterday and just because you saw my beanie babies all of a sudden our mutual nudity meant nothing to you!"
"i just can't be that for you anymore. i thought i could but i was wrong."
Person B feels a compulsion to try to change for person A. It baffles person B that things could have been perfect 10 hours before, but now they can't help but feel inadequate and used. There is a need for justification of self. Person B cuts the Beanie Baby stash in half. Maybe stocks a few under the bed now. Person A has moment of weakness, person B feels temporarily validated but a few days later, they still have the same conversation over again.
Person B is just fucked.
So, friends, make sure you KNOW the person you're dating before you agree to a relationship with them. Someone isn't just going to knock on your dorm room door one day and be like tada! we're in love! It just doesn't work that way. Being in a healthy relationship (if one exists) is something that takes a long time and a lot of work. The same goes for falling in love with someone. This is built upon a lot of work, sacrifice and time. You can't rush into it. You're not going to know instantly.
And I'm not going to assume that all relationships are going to be spawned from healthy friendships from here on out just because I wrote a blog entry on Beanie Babies. All of the relationships I've ever had have not come out of stable friendships. They have spawned from random meetings and lustful feelings. And I'm not guaranteeing that it's not going to happen again, or that person B will have learned from his/her mistakes. I'm just throwing it out there.
Relationships are hard work, and they're not always fun. You aren't going to be happy all of the time. I would say 85% of the people I know who are married or in long term relationships are miserable more than they are happy. They fight more than they love. Their relationship still exists because they are afraid to go it alone. I can only imagine what it would feel like to be alone after the companionship of a long-term serious relationship. But that's no reason to extend your stay in Shitville.
There are always going to be defensive women who feel threatened. There is always going to be one person who needs more sex than the other and is offended when they don't get it. There will always be a need to validate one another.
I think that, essentially, all people ever want out of any sort of relationship they have is validation. Some sort of sign that the choices they have made with their life aren't all a joke. Validation is needed in friendships, in jobs, in school, and most importantly, in relationships.
/End soap box rant.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
into the ocean
I'm not sure I can ever top my last entry, and I'm not going to try. If I ever do, it won't be because I tried to. It will be because I am just that good of a comical blogger to come up with such genius writings.
Since I advertise this blog on MySpace, and am easily found through Nic's blog which is advertised through Facebook, I am limited to the topics of which I can truly share my honest opinion. I have to omit love life (or lack there of? like to keep ya guessing), work woes, guys who suck, and really personal emo razor type of things that might have me committed.
I've had a pretty good week for various reasons. Some reasons I can tell you about, others I can not. The first reason is that I have been keeping myself relatively busy. Even though it's exhausting, at the end of the day I feel fulfilled. And that's saying something -- "at the end of the day I feel fulfilled" -- with the dining hall serving what it claims is "sustenance." There is still a bunch of things I have to do. I have to find people who drink alcohol and convince them to fill out my questionnaire. I have to apply for three different jobs. I have to maintain sanity through my PAINFUL Sex & Gender course. I'm sorry but so-called feminists are not my friend. You know who's also not my friend? People who ARGUE ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
It was about this time last year when I started applying for summer camp jobs, and got hired for Brookwood. I imagine a bunch of innocent, vulnerable people are experiencing what I went through right now. And they don't even know what they are getting themselves into. I don't know. I guess Brookwood may have been fun for some people, those who weren't faux-lifeguards and didn't have any ties to some guy named Mark. I think that would have just made it boring though. I am intent on staying in Stockton this summer for sure, and when I am eating the food I cook or buy for myself every night, I will think of those suckers in Glen Spey, NY and their chicken nuggets and grape drink.
Ugh, I cannot even imagine what it would be like if I were to go back. I seriously have occasional nightmares about it.
I need to pay my parking tickets that were due in December. YUCK.
My headache has spread to my neck.
Since I advertise this blog on MySpace, and am easily found through Nic's blog which is advertised through Facebook, I am limited to the topics of which I can truly share my honest opinion. I have to omit love life (or lack there of? like to keep ya guessing), work woes, guys who suck, and really personal emo razor type of things that might have me committed.
I've had a pretty good week for various reasons. Some reasons I can tell you about, others I can not. The first reason is that I have been keeping myself relatively busy. Even though it's exhausting, at the end of the day I feel fulfilled. And that's saying something -- "at the end of the day I feel fulfilled" -- with the dining hall serving what it claims is "sustenance." There is still a bunch of things I have to do. I have to find people who drink alcohol and convince them to fill out my questionnaire. I have to apply for three different jobs. I have to maintain sanity through my PAINFUL Sex & Gender course. I'm sorry but so-called feminists are not my friend. You know who's also not my friend? People who ARGUE ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
It was about this time last year when I started applying for summer camp jobs, and got hired for Brookwood. I imagine a bunch of innocent, vulnerable people are experiencing what I went through right now. And they don't even know what they are getting themselves into. I don't know. I guess Brookwood may have been fun for some people, those who weren't faux-lifeguards and didn't have any ties to some guy named Mark. I think that would have just made it boring though. I am intent on staying in Stockton this summer for sure, and when I am eating the food I cook or buy for myself every night, I will think of those suckers in Glen Spey, NY and their chicken nuggets and grape drink.
Ugh, I cannot even imagine what it would be like if I were to go back. I seriously have occasional nightmares about it.
I need to pay my parking tickets that were due in December. YUCK.
My headache has spread to my neck.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
preggers!
In my opinion, at least, coming from my hometown is that we produce one of two people. Those who go to college, and those who do not. Those who do not go to college end up pregnant within three years of graduating high school. The really talented ones achieve their knocked up status in high school. I was reminded of someone I used to know in junior high today, so I tried to look him up on myspace even though his last name escapes me right now. I found him--but on his page, I also found his comments flooded with friendly hello's from girls I knew in high school with babies in their profile pictures. Unwed girls, single girls. I think that if I ever do become a psychologist with a Ph.D. I am gong to focus my research on the girls "left behind" because this is a crazy phenomena. I guess that's what they stay back to do, right? It's either that or continue working at Target as a cashier WITHOUT a child. Hell, might as well get it over with. And the guys they do it with, my god. So ugly. My best friend from junior high got pregnant our senior year of high school, got married before we graduated to the supposed baby daddy, and is now divorced and living with her parents again. These kids that I literally went to Kindergarten with, girl scouts, you name it. All knocked up. Jiminy crickets. It makes sense, I guess. There really is nothing to do in your hometown after high school but get trashed, high and have sex all the time when you're not calling in sick to your retail job.
His last name just came to me.
I think the concept of getting pregnant is some sort of false self-esteem booster. It is so glamourized these days. So you're too dumb to go to college, have a kid! It will give you a purpose and people might pay attention to you, at least for nine months until it pops out and we find out how ugly it is. Since when did having ugly babies with ugly guys become fashionable?
See you at Target, baby weight.
His last name just came to me.
I think the concept of getting pregnant is some sort of false self-esteem booster. It is so glamourized these days. So you're too dumb to go to college, have a kid! It will give you a purpose and people might pay attention to you, at least for nine months until it pops out and we find out how ugly it is. Since when did having ugly babies with ugly guys become fashionable?
See you at Target, baby weight.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
kbyeeeee
My room is MR. CLEAN and no one is here to admire it except for my smelly residents. Who mess it up again.
Nicolle, why am I not on your side bar under "websites I don't hate"?
Is it because I don't know how to make my blogger super fancy?
I fear I cannot match up.
But at least I don't have an evil pup like Tater.
Wheel of Fortune will soon be on YouTube, so that will be fun, I think.
I think I want to make fried chicken in my kitchen now that it is clean. But that will just make it dirty. It was sooo good this weekend though. My mom and I were brainstorming what we should have for dinner, and I found some frozen chicken, so I was like oh hey, let's fry it. She was also whipping up some corn bread mix at the time, and I said save some of that and we'll dip the chicken in it.
So we did, and it was such deliciousness.
I'd also want to make cupcakes too, but I don't have the right pan and I'm not motivated enough to go out and buy one.
I guess this is just my brain revolting from dining hall food with all of these weird ideas about cooking.
Wouldn't that be awesome if we could make waffles for dinner?
Nicolle, why am I not on your side bar under "websites I don't hate"?
Is it because I don't know how to make my blogger super fancy?
I fear I cannot match up.
But at least I don't have an evil pup like Tater.
Wheel of Fortune will soon be on YouTube, so that will be fun, I think.
I think I want to make fried chicken in my kitchen now that it is clean. But that will just make it dirty. It was sooo good this weekend though. My mom and I were brainstorming what we should have for dinner, and I found some frozen chicken, so I was like oh hey, let's fry it. She was also whipping up some corn bread mix at the time, and I said save some of that and we'll dip the chicken in it.
So we did, and it was such deliciousness.
I'd also want to make cupcakes too, but I don't have the right pan and I'm not motivated enough to go out and buy one.
I guess this is just my brain revolting from dining hall food with all of these weird ideas about cooking.
Wouldn't that be awesome if we could make waffles for dinner?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Hubba hubba
The last time I ate peanut M&Ms before I went to sleep, I had the craziest dream of my life. I have decided to try it again. It's like my own personal hallucinogen. Here I am, crunching on a yellow one as I watch Amy Winehouse on the Grammy's.
I feel like I'm back to square one. Having a common case of the winter blues. They skipped me last year. Maybe they come every other year, so next winter I should be great, right?
Square one: so this is what it feels like. Diet coke, history of Psychology, peanut M&Ms and a cut-off Pacific t-shirt.
I have definitely been reading about too many pregnant ladies.
I feel like I'm back to square one. Having a common case of the winter blues. They skipped me last year. Maybe they come every other year, so next winter I should be great, right?
Square one: so this is what it feels like. Diet coke, history of Psychology, peanut M&Ms and a cut-off Pacific t-shirt.
I have definitely been reading about too many pregnant ladies.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Feeling good. Feeling strange.
I remember when I went to Washington D.C. on my eighth grade honors kids field trip. They had all of these touristy shops selling propaganda, political memorabilia, random stickers, keychains, visors. All I wanted was to find a shirt that said FBI on it. I finally found one on our one hour trip to the mall. I was very excited and pleased with myself. Until the next day, when we were on a tour of some sort of new media museum and some kid from another school field trip laughed at me and said "ooooo, you're a FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR." I was paranoid for awhile that if I wore the shirt everyone would think I liked girls. I shouldn't have cared, it's an awesome shirt, and I'm wearing it now.
I have mixed feelings about Valentine's day coming up. If you're one person, you know why. If you're anyone else, you probably don't know. It's not that big of a deal, it just stems from my apparent vast capacity for indecision. If this happened, I wouldn't be happy. And if the opposite happened, it has the potential to make it worse. Why does it have to be so complicated? And yet, not, at the same time. I am happy with everything right now. I don't want to make any impulsive decisions based on emotion at the time and screw everything up. I know I've been known to do that in the past, but I hope, for once, I have learned a valuable lesson. If it's not broken, don't break it. And yes, I know it's supposed to be "if it's not broken, don't fix it."
I had two successful dining hall experiences today with a few of my favorite people. I wish I could do that everyday. I've come to realize the dining hall really isn't about the food or sustenance, it's about the hilarious conversations you have over fried rice with peppers in it, overcooked pork loin, and if you're lucky, a quesadilla.
It's Tuesday night, and Tuesday nights are my favorite because that means I get to watch the Biggest Loser. It's seriously like the only thing I look forward to every week. Everything else is just a side note.
Hammed it up with Bill yesterday. with my BFF, Nicolle.
Then we seriously bonded, and shed a few tears despite our amazing experience only a few hours earlier. Sometimes certain things need to be let out of their cage. If you leave them inside too long, they'll get so overworked that when you eventually let them out, they'll attack you more fiercely. Let it out, bitch.
I love life and I love my friends. And yeah, I love my family.
LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I have mixed feelings about Valentine's day coming up. If you're one person, you know why. If you're anyone else, you probably don't know. It's not that big of a deal, it just stems from my apparent vast capacity for indecision. If this happened, I wouldn't be happy. And if the opposite happened, it has the potential to make it worse. Why does it have to be so complicated? And yet, not, at the same time. I am happy with everything right now. I don't want to make any impulsive decisions based on emotion at the time and screw everything up. I know I've been known to do that in the past, but I hope, for once, I have learned a valuable lesson. If it's not broken, don't break it. And yes, I know it's supposed to be "if it's not broken, don't fix it."
I had two successful dining hall experiences today with a few of my favorite people. I wish I could do that everyday. I've come to realize the dining hall really isn't about the food or sustenance, it's about the hilarious conversations you have over fried rice with peppers in it, overcooked pork loin, and if you're lucky, a quesadilla.
It's Tuesday night, and Tuesday nights are my favorite because that means I get to watch the Biggest Loser. It's seriously like the only thing I look forward to every week. Everything else is just a side note.
Hammed it up with Bill yesterday. with my BFF, Nicolle.
Then we seriously bonded, and shed a few tears despite our amazing experience only a few hours earlier. Sometimes certain things need to be let out of their cage. If you leave them inside too long, they'll get so overworked that when you eventually let them out, they'll attack you more fiercely. Let it out, bitch.
I love life and I love my friends. And yeah, I love my family.
LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
100 calorie packs
I even fell for it. The only thing that makes 100 calorie packs 100 calories is the fact that they only give you two of something. I guess it's okay for portion control if you take it as a snack to work or school or something but yeah.
I went to Walmart tonight to try to find a replacement for my spiral curling iron but apparently today was buy all of Walmart's curling irons day, and they only had like two altogether. It was sad and pathetic. My companion got peanut butter m&ms though, so it wasn't a completely worthless trip.
Bill is coming tomorrow. huzzah. Yay for skipping class. I hope I have my digital camera around...I seem to remember bringing it back. Wait. I did. I don't have my memory card though, so unfortunate.
I was planning on doing my homework tonight, but since I'm not going to class tomorrow....whatever!
Today I bought a tote bag with spoon fabric. I thought it was appropriate since spooning is my favorite thing to do. Might as well make it a statement.
I guess I wasn't really in the right mood for blogging like I thought I was.
Oh well.
I went to Walmart tonight to try to find a replacement for my spiral curling iron but apparently today was buy all of Walmart's curling irons day, and they only had like two altogether. It was sad and pathetic. My companion got peanut butter m&ms though, so it wasn't a completely worthless trip.
Bill is coming tomorrow. huzzah. Yay for skipping class. I hope I have my digital camera around...I seem to remember bringing it back. Wait. I did. I don't have my memory card though, so unfortunate.
I was planning on doing my homework tonight, but since I'm not going to class tomorrow....whatever!
Today I bought a tote bag with spoon fabric. I thought it was appropriate since spooning is my favorite thing to do. Might as well make it a statement.
I guess I wasn't really in the right mood for blogging like I thought I was.
Oh well.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Proverbial black sheep
Is/are sheep ever singular? Or ever plural? If I said black sheep, how would you know if I wasn't just talking about one? Or maybe 24.
Amazing things come into my head during Jay Leno. I stare at the wall in awe of my astoundingly intellectual thoughts.
So, I was watching the Democratic candidate debate tonight on CNN. I'll just let it be known that I've never identified myself as a Democrat. I tend to agree with the stance on ethical issues that Republicans have, and I have always held those things most important to me. But as I am a spudding adult, coming into a formidable economy, new issues are becoming important to me other than the age old debate of abortion. So, yes, I watched the Democratic debate. I decided, after watching it entirely, that even though I'm not sure I would support Hillary Clinton as a candidate for presidency, I would not be upset if she took office. Barack Obama, on the other hand, makes me wants to kick puppies.
California almost always goes blue, so when it comes down to the actual presidential election my potential Republican vote for John McCain wouldn't count, maybe I'll actually vote for Hillary? Naw.
If my sister ever read this, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't talk to me for at least two weeks. I was talking to my mom about how I watched the debate on the phone tonight and she got really quiet when I told her that I agree with some of Hillary's stances on things like the war on terrorism and health care.
I don't have much else to say other than I have a huge aphthous ulcer in the inside of my lip and it hurts to eat tater tots and chocolate. Oh and I fell in love with Mitch Fatel when I was watching Comedy Central the other night and you all should check him out on YouTube. He's ridiculous.
I'm still so tired of the rain. So tired.
Amazing things come into my head during Jay Leno. I stare at the wall in awe of my astoundingly intellectual thoughts.
So, I was watching the Democratic candidate debate tonight on CNN. I'll just let it be known that I've never identified myself as a Democrat. I tend to agree with the stance on ethical issues that Republicans have, and I have always held those things most important to me. But as I am a spudding adult, coming into a formidable economy, new issues are becoming important to me other than the age old debate of abortion. So, yes, I watched the Democratic debate. I decided, after watching it entirely, that even though I'm not sure I would support Hillary Clinton as a candidate for presidency, I would not be upset if she took office. Barack Obama, on the other hand, makes me wants to kick puppies.
California almost always goes blue, so when it comes down to the actual presidential election my potential Republican vote for John McCain wouldn't count, maybe I'll actually vote for Hillary? Naw.
If my sister ever read this, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't talk to me for at least two weeks. I was talking to my mom about how I watched the debate on the phone tonight and she got really quiet when I told her that I agree with some of Hillary's stances on things like the war on terrorism and health care.
I don't have much else to say other than I have a huge aphthous ulcer in the inside of my lip and it hurts to eat tater tots and chocolate. Oh and I fell in love with Mitch Fatel when I was watching Comedy Central the other night and you all should check him out on YouTube. He's ridiculous.
I'm still so tired of the rain. So tired.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sad realizations
I think I spend most of my time these days horizontal, instead of vertical or sitting up straight. And I'm not including sleeping, which I tend to get a bit of. Getting a laptop may have been the most convenient and unhealthy thing I have ever done for myself. I have this large living space. And I only live in 1/24th of it. One of my personal resolutions for the sake of having resolutions is to quit saying "like." I like say like like all of the time. You never realize all this funny shit you say until you hear yourself on a podcast interview. Or someone points it out to you, and then you listen to other people speak and they're (I almost said like) always saying "uh" "um" "uhhhhhmmm." And you laugh secretly because you think you are better than them because you are noticing their lack of whatever you call it in public speaking but if you were to do it yourself, you'd be a stammering mess. Am I the only person that will admit that? I judge other people for their faults where I do not match up as well.
I have also become a recluse. I exist primarily in the dark. The rain is outside. And it never. goes. away.
I never actually realized how much I really love summer. Believe me, it's not for the short shorts, or the bathing suits or the fake tans. None of those really apply to me. I guess I could hypothetically look alright in a bathing suit. Maybe if I'm in a pool or it makes my boobs look really nice (but really, what doesn't make my boobs look nice?) ((OH GOD, who will read this?)) But DEFINITELY never for the short shorts. Maybe the cute skirts, and the flowers and the happiness that everyone gets when it's spring time and pollen is in the air penetrating brains faking blossoming love. I don't sound skeptical! This is supposed to be positive about warm weather. I always make things so negative. Another personal resolution [stop making formerly positive things negative.]
I had an intense daydream in class today (or yesterday) where I was trying to work out in my head where I wanted to live next year. And I have decided where I'm going to ask to live. I'm not, however, going to publish it on my public "blogger" because I don't know who will read this and I'm too lazy to go into some rather grandiose justification for why I want to be in that place. So we'll just see when it gets to be that time, I guess.
Anyway, back to the value of sunlight. You'd think that if I missed sunlight so much, I wouldn't sit around in the dark but you would be, of course, wrong. As usual.
I think my mom feels bad that I have no friends now that my Sara is gone. I have friends but none to eat dinner with on a regular basis. I usually eat by myself or not at all, and I tell her this and she goes "I thought you were popular...."
However, next year should be super fun times because everyone will have a meal plan even my super old friends who will live in the apartments and we can all merrily get together and swipe our cards to hopefully get better quality meals than we do now. Quesadillas every night will make you turn into fromage.
So, I think it is about time to find myself a new environment. I seem to thrive with new people. They like me a lot, or too much until they get to know me. Half the time they regret me, and the other half are just over it because I'm too much to deal with and not worth it. Or if you're one special person it is both! I want to get a part-time job but with my random meetings and semi-strenuous class schedule, I have no idea how I would be able to finagle (?) that in. I suppose 2-4 hours a week can't be that bad. But. I don't know. It's not like (this like was necessary) I could meet hoards of new people at the CCI anyway, but I did meet some cool cats last year. I'm mainly interested in new romantic prospects after writing some people out of my life completely.
That's too much information.
Blogging stops now.
I have also become a recluse. I exist primarily in the dark. The rain is outside. And it never. goes. away.
I never actually realized how much I really love summer. Believe me, it's not for the short shorts, or the bathing suits or the fake tans. None of those really apply to me. I guess I could hypothetically look alright in a bathing suit. Maybe if I'm in a pool or it makes my boobs look really nice (but really, what doesn't make my boobs look nice?) ((OH GOD, who will read this?)) But DEFINITELY never for the short shorts. Maybe the cute skirts, and the flowers and the happiness that everyone gets when it's spring time and pollen is in the air penetrating brains faking blossoming love. I don't sound skeptical! This is supposed to be positive about warm weather. I always make things so negative. Another personal resolution [stop making formerly positive things negative.]
I had an intense daydream in class today (or yesterday) where I was trying to work out in my head where I wanted to live next year. And I have decided where I'm going to ask to live. I'm not, however, going to publish it on my public "blogger" because I don't know who will read this and I'm too lazy to go into some rather grandiose justification for why I want to be in that place. So we'll just see when it gets to be that time, I guess.
Anyway, back to the value of sunlight. You'd think that if I missed sunlight so much, I wouldn't sit around in the dark but you would be, of course, wrong. As usual.
I think my mom feels bad that I have no friends now that my Sara is gone. I have friends but none to eat dinner with on a regular basis. I usually eat by myself or not at all, and I tell her this and she goes "I thought you were popular...."
However, next year should be super fun times because everyone will have a meal plan even my super old friends who will live in the apartments and we can all merrily get together and swipe our cards to hopefully get better quality meals than we do now. Quesadillas every night will make you turn into fromage.
So, I think it is about time to find myself a new environment. I seem to thrive with new people. They like me a lot, or too much until they get to know me. Half the time they regret me, and the other half are just over it because I'm too much to deal with and not worth it. Or if you're one special person it is both! I want to get a part-time job but with my random meetings and semi-strenuous class schedule, I have no idea how I would be able to finagle (?) that in. I suppose 2-4 hours a week can't be that bad. But. I don't know. It's not like (this like was necessary) I could meet hoards of new people at the CCI anyway, but I did meet some cool cats last year. I'm mainly interested in new romantic prospects after writing some people out of my life completely.
That's too much information.
Blogging stops now.
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